Bête Noir
by TheBlackForest
Summary: Set in Season 5 at the church. Carl's having nightmares about what happened with Joe's group. Michonne catches on and they bond. Oneshot.


**A/N: I was re-watching the S4 finale...holy freaking crap. That scene was the best in the episode to me. All the actors were fantastic, no doubt, but Chandler get the kudos for that one.**

**On another point, I don't watch TWD regularly. My mother (I'm a minor, so I have to live with her) doesn't allow it. So I'm stuck with whenever she's not home and what I can find online. That being said, I've seen about 2 and a half episodes of S5. 5x03, 5x04, and half 5x05. So if this contradicts anything said in the first two episodes, just PM me and I'll fix it.**

**That being said, hope you enjoy and please review!**

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_His face was pressed into the ground while he struggled against the weight that held him there. A hand in his hair, the man's breath hot on his neck. There was nothing he or anyone could do to stop what would come next. He heard the belt come off the man's waist, and felt it as the man dragged it across the back of his thighs. Felt the man's erection pressed against his skin..._

* * *

Carl shot up off the floor, shaking and sweating. He was white with terror and fought down the urge to vomit. He was in the church, safe with his group, and still the nightmares plagued him. He leaned against the wall as he tried to calm down and breathe normally. He couldn't let anyone know about the nightmares. To be rescued a few times in this world was normal, but Carl was terrified of being a burden, which he suspected he already was. If anyone were to find out about the nightmares, no doubt everyone would think he was a burden.

_I'm not weak. I can handle this. I don't need to bother anyone else. They have enough on their plate._ "Carl?" Michonne's soft concerned voice broke through the darkness and his thoughts. _Oh, no_. She was his friend and he trusted and respected her greatly, but he wanted her to respect him as well. How could she respect him if she knew how weak he was?

"Just had a nightmare about Gareth," Carl lied, using the days' events as a cover. Michonne kept coming toward him, however._No no no no no..._

"Carl, don't lie to me," There was no accusation or anger in her tone, unlike his mother probably would have. His mother hated for him to lie to her. While his stomach twisted and turned at lying to Michonne, he had to. "I know something's wrong."

She was sitting beside him now, he could feel her body beside him. A body that held no malice, unlike the one that haunted him most every night. She slipped an arm around his shoulder, using her thumb to rub his shoulder soothingly. He leaned against her, his resolve begin to crumble. "I can't." He was telling her as much as he was reminding himself. "You're so strong and I..."_ I don't want to be that weak little boy no one can rely one.I'm not that weak little boy I used to be._ So why did he feel like it?

"Oh, Carl," She was facing him now, he could make out the outline of her face in the darkness of the room. Could feel her breath on his neck, almost like...he jerked away, trying to force away the memories. "Even the strongest person on earth is weak sometimes. Everyone needs someone to be there for them at least one time or another. In fact, it makes you stronger." Carl looked at her, confused. Wouldn't it do the opposite and make you weaker?

"When someone hurts us real bad, when they violate us in some way, we close ourselves off. We don't want to admit the shame we feel, we don't want anyone to pity us, and we're afraid to tell anyone because we think we don't deserve comfort because we couldn't stop it. We just want to forget it ever happened. But it keeps coming back and haunting us. It may not ever go away fully, but if we tell someone we love and trust, it gets better." He could feel the tears pricking at his eyes. He wanted to tell her, he did, and it made _so_ much sense...

"I've been having nightmares," He confessed, softly and shamefully. "Of that man, and..." _What he almost did. What I couldn't stop_. She drew him into her arms, and he leaned on her. _Why can't I deal with on my own? Why am I so weak? A strong person wouldn't have let it happen, a strong person wouldn't have nightmares_. "Why am I so weak?" The tears were flowing now, dripping onto her jacket. He felt her arm rubbing up and down his back.

"You are not weak, Carl," She heard the self-hatred in his voice, and she wished that man -not for the first time-to rot in Hell for what he'd done. "Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise, don't ever think otherwise. You are so, so strong. You're a young man who should never have been in that situation. I don't think any less of you for what happened, because I know that you are strong and brave, and you aren't any less capable of handling yourself than me."

She could feel his breathing slow to a normal pace. "Now, I want you to try to go to sleep, and know that I'm here with my gun and katana and anyone who tries to hurt you is gonna have to make it through me." He laid on the floor, and she knew what would make it easier to sleep. She tucked the blanket tightly underneath him so there'd be no airflow that his mind might mistake for something else. Once that was complete, she laid her arm underneath his head and waited until his breathing told her he was asleep.

On an instinct she'd felt only with Andre, she brushed a hair away from his face before softly running it down his cheek. Tears built up in her throat. Had anyone tried to do this to Andre, she'd have ripped their throats out. She wished the man to suffer long and hard for what he did. How could _anyone_ do this to a child? Her heart breaking over the fact he'd never have the innocence he should, she crooned a lullaby she'd once sang to Andre.

"Now I lay me rest to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, and if I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take." Please, let him have one night of rest, with many more to follow. The nightmares would never completely go away, but now she would be there to fight them, and she would always fight anyone who tried to do anything that would cause any more.


End file.
